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A Day In The Life of a Typical Cubs Fan

Posted by Kris N. on April 8, 2010

Hello,

My name is Sally BoButtons. I am a Cubs fan. This is my story.

I awoke today and took a glance around my Chicago house, spring cleaning was finally done. My husband was off and my child, Beangelia, was no longer sick. 🙂 It was then when I had my idea. I should see the Cubs. I told my husband of this idea and he loved it. A quick trip to the computer, a flight booking to Atlanta on Orbitz.com, and a couple of Braves tickets from Stub Hub later, he had our tickets. I took the tickets out from the printer, got my baby, packed up the dvd player, and grabbed my passport (can’t forget that, right?). Before you knew it we landed in Atlanta with our rental car.

I dropped my hubby and baby off at the gate. I parked the car and kinda got lost. I asked this man if he could help me find my way, but he was ignoring me. I asked again, STILL IGNORING ME!! Braves fans are so rude!! So I said: “LISTEN YOU!! I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET TO MY SEATS!! WHAT KIND OF AN USHER ARE YOU!!!!” It was then that he tried to hit me with his bat!!! 😯 I took a picture off him to show it to the Atlanta authorities, if you find him please call the police! Here he is:

This man is no good!!

Anyways, I got away from that scary and awful man. My husband found me! Thank God! And we preceded to our seats. The game started, and it was boring but then this guy, like, totally hit the ball far and next thing I know, the Cubs score is not 0, but 1. Then, I got  bored again. So I took out my DVD player and started watching “Ice Age 2.”

O...M...G... We got out the big shiny thing in CF!!!!

And that’s when the drama happened, and I’ll try my best using my literature degree from DeVry University to go into full detail of this drama. Ok, so, like, first the squirel had this acorn, and then he lost it, but he found it again, and he lost it a 2nd time! WOW!

Ice Age 2 really spoke to me. But it was hard to concentrate with all these annoying people screaming and stuff. They are savages.

Eventually the battery died, and I looked over and my husband was making out with this Cubs fan, and I was like, “How dare you!” but then I saw it was a guy, and I was like, “OMG!”

His name was Terri, with an I

So one divorce and a broken home later, my husband moved to Boystown, IL with Terri and their Cuban pool boy Greg, and I’m stuck here in Atlanta, being watched by…… HIM.

AHHHHHH!!!!

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