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Cub Fans Quotes

Posted by Kris N. on August 20, 2010

Similar to how DOB supplies quotes from inside the clubhouse, I’d like to provide quotes from the stands. Every time I go to a Braves game while they’re on the road, the home team fans give me some good quotes that make me want to stab a tree or something. For example:

Braves vs. Cardinals: (Last year)”Skip Schumaker was totally snubbed out of the All Star Game”

Braves vs. White Sox: (I was wearing a #25 Andruw Jones Braves jersey, being cute like that) “Hey, you should trade in that jersey because Chipper Jones sucks.”

Tonight was no disappointment as I present the Cubs fans to the Hall of Stupid:

(Completely trashed, holding a digital camera, attempting to take a group picture) “Which camera do I press? (Awkward silence) Hey, I’m not good with high technology”

That quote came from a woman who was with a group of 9-10 drunks. They were sitting right next to us, and were completely entertaining throughout the entire afternoon. The highlight was when they started screaming at each other, and one turns to us and says “We’re like the Adams Family or something, we’re always like this!” (Don’t really understand how the hell the Adams Family are like them in any matter.) So I stupidly replied, “You guys should be on TV.” I think she took offense to this and was about to tell the rest of the group when the mom starting pushing her Iraq War Veteran of a son into the next row. Yes, pushed him clear into the space between the chair’s back below and the girl’s back occupying the seat, spilling her beer everywhere. Boyfriend upset, Security came, choice four letter words were used generously. All this was happening when the Braves were doing nothing inparticular, so I was, of course, watching every developing plot line.

(After the Infante solo home run) “You’re not even paying attention, who just hit a homer?” “The Brave one?”

(During the chop) “Why are you doing that? You are all racists, that belongs to the Indians”

Stay classy Chicago.

Tonight was a great game. I remember watching the ninth inning play out, I predicted seven walks, but as usual, I was wrong and was made a fool of as Marmol only walked three. Derrek Lee made an awful swing on the first pitch, so bad my buddy asked if he was setting up Marmol. (Setting up a pitcher involves swinging out of your shoes at a pitch you can handle to get the pitcher to throw it again.) I just rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. He struck out on three pitches. I’ll be honest, I boo’ed him only because he should have known better. He’s watched Marmol blow so many games at first base because of lack of command, and he swings at all three pitches and misses. McCann walks and I knew this game was tied. Alex Gonzalez walks; I thought they’ve got a shot to win it. Melky Cabrera strikes out on three pitches, and I began to lose faith. Rick Ankiel had worked either a 2 – 2 count or a 1 – 2 count (I don’t remember), and I closed my eyes to listen to the next pitch. All I could hear was screaming, I couldn’t believe the Braves fell short, but then my friend starts screaming as well. That was weird, why was he screaming? I open my eyes and I see the ball traveling down the right field line, and The Braves fly into home plate like clock work. Un – be – liev -able. Braves won 5 – 3.

Some Atlanta fans got a Tomahawk Chop going, I tried to supply the 8th notes in percussion (banging onto an empty seat). Apparently it was heard on TV. Go us!


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